A Community Worries as its Esteemed Vagina Museum Applies for a Liquor License

You know what that vagina museum needs? An alcohol license. “Which vagina museum,” you ask? That would be the Vagina Museum set to open November 16th at London’s Camden Market, specifically. The grand showcase of unshowables is on a mission to spread the word on “gynaecological anatomy and health.” And Read more…


Tupac Shakur is Arrested in Tennessee, and He’s Still Up to His Old Tricks

For all you hardcore rap fans out there, is Tupac still alive? Well, the short answer is Yes. But he is in jail. Aaagain. In Johnson City, Tennessee over the weekend, a man named Tupac Amaru Shakur — the exact first, middle, and last names as the Thug Life rapper Read more…


Siblings Outraged by Their Brother’s Fatal Shooting Dismiss the Fact That He was an Armed Robber – ‘Oh Well!”

Two siblings are outraged at the shooting death of their brother. An employee at a Dayton Dollar General gunned him down. Tragically, 23-year-old Roosevelt Rappley was fired upon inside the store along the 2200 block of North Gettysburg Avenue Wednesday night. Siblings Rochelle and Tone Rappley are furious. Rochelle told local Read more…


Louisiana Man Reports Being Shot at, Directs Cops to the Scene. But He Fails to Consider One Extremely Important Detail

Photo courtesy of Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office Louisiana is a strange and mysterious place. In the last few months, I’ve covered stories of a lady biting a camel in the scrotum and a woman having no idea how that bag of meth got in her vagina. For those of you Read more…


Mother Sues Polyamorous Gay Lovers Over Son’s Sex Slave Injections to Make His Scrotum the Size of a Basketball

You know how when you’re injecting your penis and testicles with silicone and you…oh, sorry — I should probably start from the beginning. Tank Hafertepen was living with his five polyamorous fetishistic boyfriends, including the group’s “master,” Dylan Hafertepen, who dictatorially ruled the submissive “pups.” Both pup Tank and Master Read more…


Arkansas Woman Tells Cops She Had No Idea Her Hair Bow was a Bag of Crystal Meth: ‘I Didn’t Know That was There’

[Screenshot from WPMT Fox43, https://twitter.com/fox43/status/1181765539053625344] Ever had gum in your hair? It’s hard to get out. The same is true of crystal meth. At least, I assume. That would explain why 38-year-old Jessica Kropp kept hers in, despite the fact that she’d just been pulled over by the cops. According Read more…


From the International Journal of Social Robotics: Sex Robots Should be Programmed to Reject Their Owners in Order to Fight Rape Culture

Do you touch couches inappropriately? Have you molested a footstool? Do you say shameful things to blenders? You probably told your stove it was hot, you animal. Well, a couple of university intellectuals wanna liberate you from your wiley ways by training you to always ask for consent from inanimate Read more…


Man Gets Harassed and Accused of Shoplifting Over the Suspicious Bulge in His Pants. He Keeps Insisting it’s His Penis

Have you ever, like the A-Team, been accused of a crime you didn’t commit? Such an ordeal happened to a window fitter Sunday in jolly ol’ England. As reported by The Scottish Sun, Steve Whitehurst was minding his own business in Scott’s Menswear when he was confronted by the establishment’s Read more…


Woman’s Boyfriend Shoots Her in the Head, but She Forgets for Almost Two Months so They Keep Dating

[Screenshot from Twitter, https://twitter.com/whnt/status/1177696919713456129?] “Not tonight, dear, I have a headache.” So goes the ol’ lame excuse. But Nicole Gordon of Atlanta really had a solid reason for sittin’ out an amorous episode or two: The potential sexy-time needs of her boyfriend, Jerrontae Cain, notwithstanding, she did have a sizable Read more…


Woman Gets Pinned by a Camel at a Louisiana Truck Stop, Bites Him in the Testicles to Escape. Who’s the Real Victim?

Here’s a story for ya. Louisiana boasts a lot of attractions: the French Quarter, the Louisiana Plantation & Swamp Boat Bayou Full-Day Combo, the Oak Alley Plantation…and at a truck stop in Iberville — just outside Baton Rouge — there’s a camel. And he goes by the name of Caspar. Read more…


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